Yes, I am still alive (barely)

Okay, after a long absence I am back!  The reason I've been away?  Hope.  She's suddenly realized that she's almost 2 and has decided that until now my life has been way too uneventful.

Here's an example from today...

Picture this:
I'm sitting downstairs having just settled Grace after a feeding.  Hope has gone upstairs to (presumably) play in her room, something she is allowed to do.  When I suddenly hear banging and yelling from upstairs, I automatically think "Hope has shut herself in a room - likely Grace's."  I head upstairs to let her out, but when I get up there I notice Grace's door is open.  I check the other doors - all open.  It slowly dawns on me that the noise is coming from Hope's bathroom, and she's yelling "it's hot! it's hot!" I get in there to discover the following:  Hope, naked from the waist down, in her bathtub (having brought a stool in the help her climb in), turning the water on and off.  Unfortunately she doesn't know how to adjust temperature, hence the "it's hot!"
I asked her what she was doing, she responds "I bath!"
It took nearly 45 minutes to convince her to get out (and to stop laughing)...  looks like she's learned something new, and also looks like I'm going to have to invest in door handle locks for the bathrooms...

Oh Hope, how I love you.

Hopisms: Owies, Broken and Stuck(en)

These are three of Hope's favourite words...

First of all, owies.  Because I get a lot of blood work done, Hope frequently asks me "owies?" and insists I show her the inside of my elbow so she can inspect.   She also seems to have frequent owies of her own, all of which require a kiss better (until of course she told her dad that she had 'owies' on her bottom...)  

"Broken" has become a catch-all word for Hope.  If something is broken, it's broken (we all nod our heads);  if a page is ripped in a book, it's broken; if Hope can't get at something she wants, it's broken; if there's a button (or something that looks like a button) and nothing happens when Hope hits it, it's broken; if Hope doesn't like something we put in the shopping cart, it's broken; etc.  Today Hope pointed at her belly button and said 'it's broken'...  I'm still not sure what prompted it to be broken.... maybe it falls under the button rule previously mentioned.  Currently 'broken' is still in the cute phase... I wonder if that will change...

Stuck means virtually the same as broke, but only applies to things that Hope can't get at, can't free or when she is stuck somewhere.  The funniest thing about stuck is that she assumes it works the same as 'broke'.  As in she'll say broke/stuck and also broken/stucken.   I laugh so hard when she says "it's stucken!"

While I wrote this post, Hope reminded me of her many other favourite words...  uck!, byebyes, poop, and babies to name a few...  Someday soon I'll write about those, I now have to go deal with "I poop!"

Experiencing Autumn

Bruce and I decided to take last weekend to jet up to our favourite place - my parents' cabin on a little island a couple of hours away.  The weather was perfect and I was stunned (once again) by the incredible beauty of this amazing place I get to call home...
Here are some of our pictures:

Walking around the point of 'our' bay

Can you spot our dog? "faster than a speeding bullet!"

Hope - Makes my heart melt

Everyone needs to splash in a tidal pool now and again!

Proof that Grace was there too

Love at the beach

Experiencing joy in such a simple way...

When's the last time you rolled up your pants and walked in the surf?  Or jumped in a puddle? Something else so simply peaceful/silly/joyful?  I challenge to you to take the time to enjoy your world with the eyes of a child: innocently, freely, for the first time all over again.  It will do your heart some good!

Loves Music, Loves to Dance

Hope LOVES music; loves singing, loves doing actions to songs, loves dancing.

There are few things I love more than watching Hope dance, and she will dance to anything!  Commercials on the TV, worship at Church, hip hop on the radio, the washing machine (no joke), and mommy's singing are all favourites. 

She loves to twirl, do knee bends, swing her hips and shake her head to the beat.  Such a joyous response to music!  The other night, however, I was shocked to see her *new* dance move.  My mother was visiting and we were watching Glee (please don't judge!).  Hope got into the music and decided to climb onto the coffee table to dance.  Against my better judgement I let her stay up there because she was so cute!  Next thing I know she's on her hands and knees, swinging her head back and forth like a... a...  well, you (probably) get the idea.  Once the shock wore off I nearly died laughing! 

Where do kids learn this stuff?  Should I be afraid already?  What behaviours have your kids shocked you with?

Sick Days...

One of the issues I've never been able to figure out is how a mom takes a 'sick day'.  My husband gets sick, doesn't feel up to working, so he stays home in bed and gets better.  How do moms do that?  It's not like we can call in sick or just not show up...  Can you imagine?  *Picturing Hope banging on my bedroom door... "Mom? Mom?" and me responding "Sorry, I'm not well enough to be your mom today!"*

Now Bruce is awesome, and tries to help out more when I'm sick, but he doesn't feel he can just take off work to help me.  So I've been sick for a week now... a yucky stomach flu/head cold combination.  My house is falling into a state of disarray and meals are becoming less and less nutritious.  I need a day off to rest and get better!  And then I need a day off to find my house.  And then a day to meal plan and grocery shop. 

So tell me Supermoms... how do you do it?  I need help (and sleep) (and a shower).  Too much information?

"What's that?" or rather "What dat?"

Hope is talking more and more these days, and sometimes the things she says absolutely crack me up!  Here's a short collection of her latest comments and questions:

Today at the mall:
Hope: "What dat?" pointing at the dragon above a fastfood Chinese restaurant
Mommy:  "That's a dragon"
Hope: pause "What dat?" still pointing at the dragon
Mommy: "That's a dragon"
Hope: laugh "What dat?" still the dragon
Mommy: laugh "That's a dog"
Hope: 'That NOT a dog.... What dat?"
Mommy: "That's a car"
Hope: "That NOT a car-k" pause "What dat?" moving on now to the sushi sign... and repeat

With her baby doll and her doll's bottle:
Hope: "Dis baby's bubba"
Mommy: "Oh?  Your baby is thirsty?"
Hope: "Ya"
Mommy: "Is she having some milk?"
Hope: "No. No mom.  No milk.  Babies juice.  JUICE!"
Mommy: "Sorry!  I didn't know!"
Hope: "Juice."
(I apparently was supposed to know it was juice... and she was offended I didn't!)

When Grace was crying
Hope: "Baby Sad. No ball."
Enough said.

Adjusting to Life with a Sister

Hope is learning to be a big sister.  It's not easy for her, but she's trying very hard.  My husband and I, we don't think she needs to change anything, but she seems to think differently.  There are some areas where we see her acting older, and a few where she seems to be regressing...  I always wondered how she'd react to not being the only child and now I know!  Here are a few of her 'new' behaviours...

- Giving up her nap.  I'm not sure what makes Hope think that now that she's the older sister she shouldn't nap.  I've tried crying screaming gently explaining to her that mommy needs her to nap, but she doesn't seem that convinced.  It's concerning.

- Obsession with baby diapers and changing bums.  Hope seems to think that her sister is always in need of a bum change.  Quite frequently though the day she will bring me a diaper and say 'babies? bum?"  I try to explain to her that Grace does not need a diaper change every 5 minutes.  She always looks skeptical.  Hope also is obsessed with changing her babies' bums.  They are always poopy ("Ucky! Poop!")  We are going through many more wipes than we used to.  The "babies" require quite a few to get the poop off.  Every 5 minutes.

- Obsession with her own diapers.  We have been in the gentle process of potty training Hope for the last few months.  We are allowing her to go at her own pace, which has basically meant her sitting on her potty a few times a day for a few minutes without any success.  Recently, however, she has taken to taking her diaper off and telling me 'all done'.  She will then wander around the house naked, sit on the potty for a few minutes and then bring me a new diaper and say 'Bum'.  (She hasn't had another poop accident since my last post.)  The only problem with this is that she wants to throw out her diaper every time she takes it off - sometimes completely dry.  I cannot, for the life of me, convince her that her diaper isn't "ucky" if it's dry.  She just shouts "UCKY" and runs to throw it in the garbage.  Between her diapers and the baby wipes we are going to go broke!  (Not to mention fill up the landfill...)

- Bottles.  Hope has a vice.  It's a bottle of milk to help her go to sleep at night and for nap.  In the weeks before bringing Grace home we had convinced her to go down for her nap with a sippy cup instead of a bottle... that quickly ended when Grace came home.  Now she wants bottles all the time, and isn't above stealing her little sister's if we're not looking.  (For medical reasons I am unable to breastfeed).  I struggle with being flexible to help her transition and with not giving up what progress we've made!  It's hard to reason with a not-yet-two year old about why the baby gets bottles and she doesn't!  I'm trying to give her 'big girl cups' (real cups, not sippies) hoping to make her feel special in a more advanced way.  I hope it works!

I'm so lucky to have such a fun, helpful, loving, silly child.  I hope that she doesn't feel the need to grow up too fast; she's still my baby!

My online shopping problem... the beginning

It was April... my husband (an accountant) was working 18 hours every day, my toddler was in an 'independant' phase and I was pregnant and exhausted... Hanging out on Facebook was becoming my go to activity.  One day I noticed my friend had become a fan of an online bargain site for mom and baby stuff.  I checked it out, and that was the beginning of the end. 
I'm not a big shopper... I don't get a rush out of wandering through the mall, looking at shoes, trying on clothes.  Shopping online, on the other hand, was amazing!  Especially when you are getting deals at 50% off the retail price!  I waited for the right deal, the deal that would plunge me into this new exciting world.  It came in the form of an Itzy Ritzy wet bag.  (An amazing product that I will explain in more detail another time.) The next purchase came shortly after, and now 7 months later I am actually employed by one of the companies I started shopping for... crazy! 
Because of my love of online shopping, I've collected quite a bit of cool stuff (like the wet bag mentioned above) and have shopped from quite a few different websites.  My hope is to take some time here and there and review the swag and the sites for you! 

Be careful though... If you weren't addicted before this you might be after!

"I'm a bad parent" syndrome

Do you ever hear other parents talk, or read something in a book, or see something on tv that makes you think you're a bad parent?  I do!  My children are not enrolled in music, dance or baby sign language classes.  We do let them watch TV (although Hope has no interest in cartoons and Grace is too young to care).  I don't make sure they get outside every day, rain or shine.  I don't spend hours teaching Hope her colours, numbers, or how to read.  I don't read them the bible every day, or even remember to pray with them before meals all the time.  Do you think that makes me a bad parent?  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes I feel guilty about it. 

Then I remember what makes a 'good' parent, and it's not the things I listed above.

Being a good parents means loving your children.  Responding with kindness, not anger.  It means praying for your children every day.  It means understanding their personalities and loving them as individuals with likes and dislikes.  It means taking the time to play with your children, and allowing them the time to play. 

So I'm not perfect, and I'll never claim to be, but when it comes to doing the things that count, I think I'm doing okay. 

I'm not a bad parent.  And either are you.

PLEASE stop touching my baby!!!!

Here's a fact:  People are germy. 
And another:  Babies, especially preemies, are susceptible to germs.

So why (please tell me!) do people think it's okay to touch babies without washing their hands first?  Especially people who know they are dirty... like the cashier at Walmart, or the person who just picked their nose. (Gross but true).
So what inspires this rant?  We've just started taking Grace out in public and, much to my dismay, everyone seems to think that it's okay to touch her!  We're at Church on Sunday and random people are reaching over us to stroke her face.  Strangers are taking off her socks to show others how tiny her feet are.  I felt like she was public property and just wanted to tuck her under my arm like a football and run.  Seriously.

Would it be too much to put a sign on her that says "Fragile.  Please don't touch!"???  I'm sorely tempted.  Either that or to carry a spray bottle of sanitizer and just spray everyone within reach :p

Coming Home

Wonderful news! 
Today, after 54 days in the NICU,  Grace came home!  It was an emotional and exhausting day, so this post will be short.  Bruce is sick, Hope wants to help with everything and I am so glad my mommy comes tomorrow to help!  But it feels amazing to have our whole family together at last.  Things feel complete, normal, good.  Strangely, I feel more like a first time mom now than when I brought Hope home...  I'm afraid I'm not going to do things right, afraid Grace will get sick.  I need to trust that God will provide the knowledge and skills I need to be a good mom to Grace.
Well, Grace awakes and grunts so I had better go.  Wish me sleep tonight!

"I Poop!"

I'm sure there are times when those words are cause for elation but I always seem to find they evoke different emotions in me.  Take this morning for example.  I hear my daughter wake up at 7:30; I roll over, close my eyes and pray that my husband hears her and gets up.  It doesn't happen.  To my delight, however, Hope decides to play quietly in her room for awhile.  I fall back asleep.  At 8:05 she begins to bang on her door 'Mom?  Mom!  MOOOOOM!' (And I thought they learned this technique as teenagers!)  I dispatch my husband (still mostly asleep) to let her out.  As soon as her door opens I hear "I poop! I poop! I poop!"  Now, being a mom I immediately fear the worst, while my husband doesn't even seem to be processing what she's saying.  I fearfully ask "is she still wearing her diaper?"  Hubby responds "Huh? I think so... oh! Uh... Can you bring me some wipes?"  Yep, ladies and gentlemen, my daughter has pooped on the floor!  And then stepped in it.  She is now yelling "Yuck! Poop!" Sigh, what a way to start the morning!

I wish I could say that this is the first time it's happened, but it's not.  Apparently I'm a slow learner...  Potty training can't happen soon enough!

What's up duck?

Anyone out there? 

Well, here I am starting a blog.  This is the hard part, starting.  Once your blog is up and running it's easy: pop in, type what's on your mind, click submit and voila!  Huh, that's what I'm telling myself anyway.  To begin I need to be able to center myself, express myself, introduce myself.  Let you (and me) know exactly what I'm doing here.  Let's start with the introductions, I at least know who I am!

My name is Elizabeth, I'm 27 and I'm a stay at home mom of two beautiful little girls, one of whom is in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at a local hospital.  Okay, so my name isn't Elizabeth, it's my middle name, but I'm preserving anonymity and all that jazz.  On that note, let me introduce my family.  First of all, my loving husband and man of my heart, Bruce.  We've been married 7 years and I can't imagine life without him.  He's stubborn, a poor loser, has no sense of direction, but has a huge heart and strong arms, is kind, considerate and loving, and loves God.  All reasons I love him.  My eldest daughter Hope is 21 months old and so much trouble fun!  She's funny and outgoing, a bit of a daredevil and stubborn (like her dad).  She's just starting to talk and I get such a laugh out of what she says!  I have a feeling that a lot of blog posts are going to come from this inspiration!  My youngest daughter Grace is 7 weeks old and has spent her entire life so far in the NICU.  She was born at 29 weeks gestation due to my health complications and weighed in at 2lbs 14oz.  She is now just over 6lbs and we are anxious to have her home with us!  She is an inspiration and a joy, and in some ways the reason I wanted to start blogging.  Now, about me...  I was a teacher, but have 'retired' to become a stay at home mom... Something I had always wanted to do.  Being a mom is important to me, and I'm glad that I am able to stay home and raise my children.    That's what I'm hoping to share with you... the stories of raising my children.  The highs and lows of having a preemie and a toddler, the hints I've learned and pleas of help for what I haven't, my online shopping addiction (it's a problem), my marriage and why it works (and sometimes why it struggles)... 
I don't promise it will be pretty, but it will hopefully be fun!